The squeeze

you get in your chest, that that makes you feel a little like tearing.

I’m currently feeling like this, when people ask me to go out, and spend lots of money.
Not that I’m a cheapskate. (I admit I am a little.)

Was talking to my mum about topping up my ez-link card, told her that I need to claim some money, and said I top up a little lesser because I don’t have much, considering I’m eating food from outside, and no longer the $1.50 noodles I get in school, or the food coupon I get every month.
She asked almost immediately if it’s because my allowance each day is not enough.

I feel so blessed. I think she almost wanted to increase my allowance. I am feeling super loved, but I have to earn my own money and spend my own money soon; not that I don’t want to live off her, but I feel bad wasting her money which she scrimped and saved for us. I don’t see her buying clothes unless in the Pasar Malam in Malaysia, or if my grandmother buys some for her. And yet, she had given me so much to spend on clothes, my grad dress and so much more. It’s really time I stop complaining of wardrobe malfunction…

I’ll still be a cheapskate and save on things that I can spend on, eat food a little cheaper, spend less money on $10 movies and more on $6 movies, bring my own water instead of buying outside, eating home, and not buy on impulse (I’m mastering it)… (:

P.S: I’m not that broke, I just want to save, for my future or something (:

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