Anyhow.

I shall just start off with the hot post that WordPress provides on the homepage.

http://illseed.com/2009/01/28/study-masterbation-causes-cancer/

I think the url itself alr summed up what the whole post is about. I thought it might help some people save themselves from cancer (:

Anyway, today was fine I guess. Except the fact that I’m officially still in the inner circle. Certainly not something to be proud of, but certainly something to be scared and worried of.

I just find it unfair sometimes. How different people get different treatment, when they are in the same situation.

Anyway, I realised it’s more realistic and practical for me to practice than to worry and cry. Gosh. I think my head really hurts now. The headache is killing me, but I simply refuse to take panadol, it causes liver failure sooner or later.

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Is it you who changed, or is it just me? I don’t know how to put it, but I no longer feel the great friend that was always there for me. I simply don’t feel the presence anymore. I don’t know what to say. I just find everything so different, so different that I’ve never expected this.

Or is it my anti-socialness? I admit I don’t talk much, and I don’t take the first initiative to start a conversation nowadays. I don’t know what’s with me, I don’t know what’s pulling me away from the crowd. I REALLY DON’T KNOW.

I’m really in a loss now. I’ve really no idea what is happening.

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And supper with Liwen Liyun Nicolette Cheryl Verena Yuqi Jicai Wilfred and Angeline was nice (: Although we didn’t really eat, but the fellowshipping was great (:

AND I LOVE THEM! (L) They helped me with my homework, so I’m not homework-free! (: And I must thank Wilfred the most, he helped me a lot on my POA whenever I don’t know, and explained the last question of maths to me. Cheryl and company too! Who further explained maths to me (:

Gosh. I’m becoming more and more like a bimbo like Verena! Whatever! :x

SHORT ONE (:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! (: I hope I’m not too late, it’s still the lunar new year anyway (:

The trip to Malaysia was boredom, not only did I not get to catch up with my cousins, we didn’t even talk, not even those of the same generation, of little age gap. So that contributes to the boredom I guess :/ It’s pathetic.

Ate many of the new year goodies, I guess I’ve just allowed myself to gain another few kilograms. Gosh. I have to start exercising! (: PE on monday, and hopefully exercising with Verena this tuesday. AND PHYSICAL TRAINING TOMORROW! (: I REALLY DO LOVE CHOIR NOW (: To look at the junior (:

I still have compo to rush, and many things to study and plan. So I’ll fill this post with overdued photos (:

The rainbow thingy is pretty (:

Our rat (: Done using masking tape and newspaper in 15 minutes (:

With Sherlyn ZeeYee and Afif  :D

ZeeYee’s passport. With his cutesy face from very young.

And I think this is ultimate classic. Shawn took it, and he has his story :/

Okay, I think I should just go and complete my compo now. It’s been dragged for so long. And I seriously can’t stop smiling now :x

p/s: TOMORROW (:

HAPPINESS!

I’m really happy. Seriously, God will not dissappoint us (:

Just when I still couldn’t speak in tongues during the tongues prayer meeting, I got it the next day during service (: I’m really happy for the gift (:

Adding to the joy, I gave my brother my old monitor cause his lao pok one were spoiled. Thus, I GET A NEWER ONE! (: And it’s like 19 inches, looks like a television on my study table though (:

AND! Ma bought a printer like finally. It’s triple awesome, triple delight! (: What could have been better? Although the ink ran out after I print like 7-8 pages, but then I had a lot of fun printing the stuffs.

I believe yesterday was my lucky day. I reached home after buying all the things, and Sean Quek came and ask me questions about his maths homework. Although he’s very hard to teach, but I’m really glad that he’s asking. I’ll rather he ask and have me teach till I’m half-dead, then to have him fail all his test and yet don’t know where he is wrong.

Perhaps joy comes in quadraplets (: And I think today was nice too! (:

Netball was hiong, even though we ended up playing captains ball. The opponent were violent, they don’t intercept your ball, they snatch your ball from your hand, but whatever (: I had my fair share of running, which I believed must have burned quite some fats in me (: AND THAT’S GOOD NEWS! (:

Parliament house visit was so-so. Just that I sabo-ed Leonard quite a lot when we were exchanging our ez-link for the visitor pass thing.

Hazeline: Leonard, your bomb hide properly alr not?
*Officer looks at Leonard*

Opps. Sorry brother :x

The watching of their seating was alright.. Just that I don’t understand what they’re talking about, I’ve got totally no interest in Trade and Industry. And statistics.. So it was just looking at our nation’s very important Mr Goh and PM Mr Lee sleeping during the seating since I was directly opposite them.

Homeworking cum blogging currently. I feel that I’ve been a lot more disciplined then I am compared to last year (: Come on! At least I write down all my homeworks nowadays, and make sure I complete them before I have to hand it in the next lesson (: Hazeline had never been like this alright! So I think I’ve been doing great (:

p/s: I’m now problem-free (:

GLAD FOR YOUR PRESENCE! (:

I’M GO GLAD FOR HAVING JIEYING WITH ME STILL (:

I find it pretty amazing, although we’re in different classes, dismissed at different time almost everyday and doing totally different subjects. WE STILL MEET UP EVERY RECESS WITHOUT FAIL! (: And the best among the so many good things was that WE ACTUALLY TALKED ON THE PHONE! (:

You might be thinking, “Duh. It’s so normal to talk on the phone.” But HEY! I love it to the max, for someone who hasn’t talked on the phone for so long, it really makes me hyperventilate. I mean, someone so dear to you called you, although I see her in school everyday, and meets up with her everyday, it’s really amazing we actually had so much to say on the phone (:

Different places we might be, heart and mind as one .

I was thinking, since little things we do will change the future, will our planned future be changed along the way? It’s hard to predict,  and too fast for me to see the future, literally seeing the future. Not everytime, but sometimes is alr very interesting for me (:

Tragically painful.

Would you ever understand the plight she was in? Would you ever put yourself in her shoes? I doubt so darling, you’ve been self-centered all these while, not changing a bit since you were borned this way. Human are borned self-centered, but you can change it; it wasn’t meant to stay like this forever.

Come on! Had she cast you out cause she think that it was too much of a shame to go out with someone who does stupid things, and might disgrace herself? For goodness sake she doesn’t. For whatever stupid things that you’ve done, she had never once decided to leave, and look at you with eyes of prejudice. She never, in fact she had always been there, to be stupid with you so you wouldn’t feel odd.

How great! So that is how you’re suppose to treat someone who have been nice to you all these while!

WHATEVER! That’s called being ungrateful, and being an ingrate, and you should never be recognised as a friend to her, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO.

Unless someone is debating that a friend is someone who aren’t supportive of the other when he/she needs him/her the most.

And that a friend is someone who have eyes of prejudice set on his/her own so-called friends.

Or perhaps that a friend is just someone there to fill up the empty space in friendster feaured friends.

OH PLEASE! I beg to differ. If that is friends, they would be no enemies and war in this world. It’s as good as telling me that allies in war are just there for show, not to help fight the war.

You can continue to wag your tongue for all I care, you can gossip for all I care, you can gossip and wag till your mouth runs dry, and even if your throat breaks apart.

You’ve been really horrible these two years, it’s alr bad enough to gossip, but then for goodness sake stop breaking friends apart, causing them to have misunderstandings as if it was meant-to-be. And stop breaking about-to-be-together couples. I’ve really no idea how many couples you’ve successfully broke apart.

But the blow is massive darling, the pain you’ve indirectly inflicted is unlike a scrape on the knee, it’s alike having cancer, to detect it early, and have to go through chemotherapy and the many many painful treatments. That’s what they have been going through. While you dwell in your self-pity over your last relationship break-up, and jealous because many others found sweet romance.

BUT! That doesn’t give you enough reason to break people apart. You might be thinking, “I DIDN’T BREAK THEM UP! THEY BROKE UP AND LEFT BY THEMSELVES.” Too bad, same theory as the quarrel with my best friend part. We don’t quarrel by ourselves, someone else does the job to make it happen; someone else does the job to make the about-to-be couple dwell into a state of confusion, eventually breaking up.

It takes nothing actually, all that is needed is just a sentence from you to blow the whole relationship that is going to be started to end. How ironic! It ended even before it started.

I think you’ve been really mean.

或许你的目的就是要挑拨离间，把我们俩的好关系给破坏。但是，我不会这么容易就让你得逞的。你想把我们给拆散，我就偏不让你拆，看你能拿我怎么办 (:

Or maybe everyone are tools to you; each one of them serving a different purpose, so that you’ll have one full set of tools, every one of them to serve you whenever they are needed. WHATEVER MAN. I’m so not going to fall into your very well-set trap (: Not going to talk to you much too. That’s not called being mean; it’s simply protecting myself from further destruction.

p/s: I CAN READ YOUR MIND! REALLY! (:

p/p/s: The main character in this post is NOT me. I don’t do self-pity now. No longer, even if I does, I’ll keep it to myself (: I’m just standing up for my friend (:

I’ll Try.

I know I’m suppose to start this year great. I’m still trying hard.

I dare not say that it’s not my fault, one wrong move I made and everything is in a massive mess. And it’s really getting out of hand, I really have to settle all of it before there’s nothing I can do.

Out of the 4 problems I’m having just this afternoon, half of it had been successfully settled (: Half of the mess is cleared (: Friendship sinking crisis settled, now the ship is not just a sampan (:

EHH. I don’t mean anything, but I really would like to let you know, you mentioned that my best friend and I quarrel quite often. We don’t do it every now and then. And, you claimed that you don’t understand why we quarrel. But I beg to differ, we’ve never really quarrelled by ourselves, it’s usually done through a third party, where the prepared-speech was misintepreted into something else with totally different meaning. And you’re the reason.

I think I’m glad for today, if not for today to self-destruct my image, I would still have to worry about tomorrow, and keep sensing what will happen with my quite-reliable-sense these few days. But, despite the fact that whatever I’ve been sensing can come true, I can change it too (: I’m just too convinced by what happened (:

I’m really grateful for Eileen who came to my rescue in the morning without even knowing that she was like my Superman this morning, except more chio (:

I think it’s time I mature, and toss the negative mindset away, the self-pity too, I know about the disadvantages, but I seems to take a while to apply them in my life (:

TRY HARDER HAZELINE! (: AIM HIGH! Even if you can’t touch the sky, you’ll be touching the clouds (:

p/s: I JUST FINISHED TWILIGHT! I know I’m slow, and it’s 3 years ago as said by Julie, BUT I FINISHED! (:

How WONDERFUL (:

I never fail to catch a flu when I’m preparing to swim the next day. It’s so so so irritating. The other time it was so terrible that I had a fever instantly, and had a sore throat for 2 weeks.

SO, I’m not risking myself, I changed the swimming date to a jogging-to-slim-down date (: Cease I get myself sick till half-dead again. The whole thing is cancelled :/ HMPH! I think I should just grab Jieying to run with me in school next time (:

Today was fairly alright (: Just that it was still so hard to resist temptations in school. Just when I was fasting, I have to sit in the canteen, not that they have marvelous food, but food does smell nice :x

I feel so weak all of a sudden. I’ve never felt like this, how I fear everything. Darkness, walking alone, being alone, cats and cockroaches in the night, walking back home at late night, seeing some people, hurts. I just feel fear so strongly, just so suddenly.

Nothing happened, really. It’s just me reacting like this.

Thanitha didn’t go to school today, it felt so wrong without her ): Especially during PE and lining up and all, it’s so loner :/

Still there for me.

Officially in love with that song. High School Musical, but I find it nice nevertheless (: More of meaningful perhaps.

I find school so tiring now, I don’t know is it just me or is everyone else the same, but I’ve been completing my homework on time, and studying when there is free time. Less friendster-ing, facebook-ing and blogging alr. I just can’t find time for all these, not that I don’t want to.

I didn’t even touch the computer for the past 2 days. Like, amazing for me, who have been using the computer for at least 6 hours per day last time. Whatever you think, I still think that it’s quite an achievement for me (:

Matrimony yesterday was so gorgeous, the bride was even more gorgeous (:

The whole thing was really beautiful, I find the message so great,  Love is more than just finding the person as charming as Brad Pitt, and as intelligent as Albert Einstein. It is being able to find someone as charming as Albert Einstein, loving him even if he is nothing like Brad Pitt. It’s not just about the outer beauty.

Imagine you’re with him :x

The band’s concert in the evening, it was great overall (: I wouldn’t degrade it even if the band members tell me that they played wrong notes and so on, I don’t understand anyway :/Plus I’ve always think that it’s rude to demoralise people, not really demoralise, but to critisize and to bring down their actual value. GAHH. *Shrugs*

p/s: EXCERCISING WITH VERENA AND VERA ON TUESDAY! (:

GAHHHHHH

I really don’t know how to continue like this in school. I can’t be like this for the rest of my 2 years darling. I can’t surrond myself with boys alone, like those whom I knew from 2007 till now.

Okay, my recess is like, walk to 3C wait for Jieying, go walk walk and sit with Cichuan and co? Then go up halfway, stone at the chair there saying nothing. And went back to my empty class of only 4 people inside ): PATHETIC :/

Gah. I can’t possibly go and break people’s friendship by suddenly going inside right? Two is enough, three or more and there will be chaos :/Oh, it certainly does feel weird without Jieying with me in class, except for Geog where she came in and sar beside me, but Maggie Wong wants us to sit in 3C classroom next lesson :/

I practice independence and is independent, but this isn’t the way to test how independent am I. No no no. I’m suppose to insulate and penetrate, not isolate myself and be late in making friends.

Hazeline oh Hazeline, how impressive, you didn’t make a single new friend although school alr started for 2 days :/WHATEVER.

AWARD PRESENTATION CEREMONY

was a bore. I don’t really mind but I was really tired :x Read Twilight for the second half of the ceremony. It was so messy anyway :/

And I don’t quite understand the generation gap, why is everyone saying that my uniform is nice and unique? First people from church, then Miss Denise Phua? Generation gap perhaps. Opps.

I’m tagged  by Nicolette to do the quiz. So here it goes (:

Put down facts about yourself, the number of facts will be based on your age.
Then tag 5 other people.

1. I have a super big scar on my right knee cause I refused to hold my ma’s hand while walking when I was young.

2. I failed english when I was in Primary 1.

3. I attended children’s  church when I was in Primary 1, but I backslided when I was in Primary 4 cause the Pastors’ daughter chased me out of a room.

4. I joined art club last time, additional art classes too.

5. I had multiple crushes when I was in primary school, like 3-4 at a time?

6. I had childhood asthma, and some allergy which I don’t know what is it.

7. I actually quarrelled with my classmate when I was in kindergarden cause we liked the same guy. (LOL!)

8. I tried to commit suicide last year cause I had a bad conflict with classmate.

9. I love Edward and I think Jacob is a loser.

10. I do enjoy reading if I’m not forced to read (: Attitude I guess.

11. I aspired to be a counsellor/psychiatrist when I’m grown up. Oh, to be involved in community services too (:

12. I feel disgusted when I see blood, or when blood is drew from me.

13. I got so fed up cause I was in top 25% when I was 10.48%.

14. I didn’t drink water when I was a baby. Water as in plain water.

Tagged: Jieying, Verena, Yanqin, Nabil, Brian

p/s: HOMEWORK!!! :/