Practical.

Went for Verena’s performance yesterday (: LOVE amplified (: World AIDS Day Concert (: Love it pretty much, cause I got a free ticket from Verena that is worth $15 and I get to redeem a free Levis tee that cost $26.90 (: WOOHOO! God is good all the time; all the time God is good (:

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? It’s like $41.90 pouring down from heaven. LOL! And I got my Merit Bursary (because I’m in the top 25%; Feel so annoyed, cause I was so close to top 10%, like, 10.448%! :/ ) So now it’s like $291.90 pouring down! LOL. So nonsense! xD

I find it so irritating, I’ve been so judgemental these days, I hate to be like this too, but I’ve been controlling (: e.g. I think that someone I know is sick, sick as in disgusting, I just keep it to myself (: Argh. Hopefully there will be a drastic change soon (: BY FAITH I CAN! :D

I don’t know what’s wrong, I’ve been messaging you, I’ve been praying for you, sowing and reaping, the process takes time, BUT is it a little too long? 2-3 months is crazy. It hurts like crazy too. At first we folded cranes, we hung the cranes, tedious, much effort, much sacrifices too. Doesn’t it touch your heart enough? Or did it not touch your heart at all?

Even if you’re not touched by those things, is my effort not appreciated? I tried my best to be that listening ear, I might not be able to talk to you about gunbound and games like Jiang Maan does. But, I’ll always be there to listen to you, be it to be that someone whom you can vent your anger on, or that someone whom shoulder will always be there for you to lean on. I’ve tried.

Mushy enough. I didn’t know how I landed there, but then, I guess those are from deep within my heart. Might be judged as act-one-emo, but I must clarify, I have no intention to even be emo; cause I know that it doesn’t benefit me in any way, some sympathy perhaps, but on top of that more of criticism. I’m certainly not that stupid (:

I know this isn’t the end. I wouldn’t give up just yet (:

(I don’t really expect anything, let alone a relationship; so stop guessing)

AND IMMA GONNA SLEEP LATERR! Benedict and Timothy’s birthday card totally deprived me of my beauty sleep :x But it’s worth it to make someone’s day (:

Kids are forever cute, the metal thing that stands in the middle of the escalator at Changi Airport is to prevent people with big luggages to use the escalator. BUT I told Timothy and Benedict that Changi Airport is bad cause they don’t allow fat people to use the escalator. They thought it was for real and they told me that I’m smart :D And I’ll go with the saying that kids only speak the truth (:

p/s: I just realised that Ma is going to Malaysia with Sean Quek in a few days time :/

p/p/s: God is speaking to me, to love people more, and to edify them even for little things they do (:

FIRST MULTIPLIED CELLGROUP MEETING (:

Choir today :/ Met Jieying and went to school together (: Such a bore having to go to Ubi just for school :/ Anyway, I now has the priviledge of eating sweets during practice, not only when I’m singing, but throughtout the practice (not something very good though :/) BUT STILL! Can eat sweet (:

Mrs Erp wasn’t there from 2-5pm, so practiced a little while, and started to camwhore with Jieying in the music room (: (played the pokana game also :D)

Our specialty (: Together with self-invented logos (:

There’s still many, but then I’m lazy to upload them to wordpress :/

Cell group today was great (: With Verena poking me whenever possible, and me poking her everytime (: All the high class and middle class and Jesse McCartney (: Watched The Condemned too. NC16, but then watched it anyway (: Pretty gross :/

p/s: I picked up my courage to message you alr, hopefully something happens (:

p/p/s: Kendrick was being totally random by asking me to help him pass something to someone, and it was the 20th century boys symbol, that one with the eye one.. xD

CLEARRRRR!

I’m so proud of myself! (: I just cleared all my rubbish, from all the oh-so-tomboy-ish pokemon cards to all the hello kitty stickers. All those things were thrown away alr, no point in keeping them since I know I wouldn’t be using them anymore (:

LOL. Found many things during the process too (: Like, my 12th birthday presents from the babes and hunks of 6Loyalty (:

Beautiful card by Sean Neo, on behalf of the clique (:

Card done by gorgeous Samantha (:

From Fengyi (:

Drawings from Huiting (:

Seashell from Novrianti (:

Batik from Malacca trip (: Done by self (:

Overall, I love it, cleared really many things (: Like, at least 2 big plastic bag full (: And the previous clearing was more, like, 4 big plastic bag full? Amazing how many rubbish I’ve been keeping for years, cause I haven’t been clearing my things for years, the previous clearings was like, taking out and putting back :x

And my expenditure for this month is amazing, like, at least a hundred. OH MY. Why must it by this Arise and Build season :x Thank God I’ve alr set aside money for Arise and Build, so that I’ll be able to fulfil my pledge no matter what (:

Believe it or not, I still intend to go Ikea to shop for more things with Yanqin (: And I’m so gonna go to popular again (cause I alr went today :D). I have many things to buy, as in I have many things I wanna buy in mind (: The cups and the bowls, your might think it’s retarded to buy crockery, but then I plan to use them in other ways, instead of it’s main purpose (:

I went shopping at popular today, Ikea yesterday, popular today (: Bought many things, more of which is suppose to be for my preparation of the presents (: I love the glitters a lot, and it’s super bling. I just tried it out on one of the photoframes, and it’s fabulous (to me :D).

I think I’m good at saving money (: I chose an acrylic paint that was $9+ instead of one that is $11+, I chose a glue which was 55cents and has more of it compared to another of the same price (: And I’ve been scrimping on things, as far as possible alr. I almost bought this notebook, cause I thought it was beautiful, but thank God for the second thought, you’ll have no use for it. HAHA! But I’m going there again, with mum perhaps (:

Ending with yet another picture of me when I was young (:

ASIA CONFERENCE! (:

I LOVE ASIA CONFERENCE TO THE MAX MAN (: And I’m glad I have amazing cell group members who are pros at booking seats. Cause there was about 20 000 attendees, and Hall 8 can only hold 9000, and I am one of them (:

Queueing was horrible, it was super squeezy, and you just don’t have to walk, people from behind will just push you in front (: <— the smiley face is a fake one. And there’s this young boy who stepped on my feet so that he can be in front of me ): And my toe have been hurting for days :/

DAY 1

Yanqin. Dean and Tingquan went for the first night (: I LOVE the parade of ministry (: Drama was super dramatic, but I like! (: Children’s church one also! (: Cutie cutie pie (:

Praise and worship! (: The message from Rev Dr Kong was great too! About how we should excel in the marketplace, and not only in church. And learnt about how awesome Paul was. How he controlled himself and not critisised or judge other people, especially those in his city; those that worship idols and greek gods. Oh well. I WANNA BE MORE LIKE PAUL! ((:

Went to eat at Tampines, bad choice. Spent $9 on cab fare from Tampines to home. But then shared cab with Yanqin and Tingquan (: Oh well, SMRT should have delayed the time of their last train. BUT THEN! We almost got stuck at Expo, so it’s great that we managed to go somewhere else alr (:

DAY 2

Queueing part was chaos, got lost from KimberlyNaval, can’t queue with Angeline and company outside Hall 8 ): But we managed to sit at the same row in the Hall (:

Carola and Don Moen was superb! I love them! Still second to Jesse though. LOL. Oh well, the position doesn’t really count much. As long as I still loves them (:

Message by Rev Dr Ulf Ekman was mainly about the Holy Spirit (: Had a hard time writing notes. Tiring day, but then managed to stay awake and not fall asleep during halfway through sermon, I did doze off a little though :X

Missed the last train to Boon Lay again :/ Thank God there was bus still (: Cause I cannot afford to cab alone :X Cannot afford to cab actually, it’s like, ARISE AND BUILD SEASON! I just can’t spare that much for things like that, it’s okay if it’s for offerings though (:

I gave all of my allowance for offerings alr. It’s a step of faith? I don’t know. But it will be of good use for CHCSA, to help the poor and needy, it is worth it (:

And I saw Nana Verena performed for strikeforce today (: Her hair was so coooool! (: And I love her to bits, she went for the “How to break an addiction” elective with me (: Went for the “choosing the right partner in life” one also (: I love Kimberly too! She lent me her tag so that I can go for the community service elective (:

Well, if you can read it, Overseas Delegates, from Living Faith International Singapore. OMGOSHHHHH. I’m from City Harvest Church, anyway (: The anyway reminds me of someone though.. anyway.. Arghh ):

DAY 3

Shortest service by Rev Dr Phil Pringer, but it was short and sweet, yet meaningful (:

1.Revelation is when to do it.
2.Revelation is who to do it with.

I think Rev Dr Phil Pringle and Pastor Chris Pringle are very sweet. Started dating when he was 16 and she was 15, married when they were 19 and 18 respectively (: Coolios.

The lunch service was touching too. So many tears dropped :X Not mine though :X And Benedict was very cute, btw he’s 12 this year (:

Benedict: I want to go and take water.
Hazeline: Oh. Go and take lah, be careful arh.
Benedict: Huh..
Hazeline: OHH. I go with you lah (:

I went for effective counselling elective alone. But then alone or with company doesn’t really make a difference (: I concentrate better, I guess (: But I think I went in super late :/ (AND THANKS NELSON WHO WANTED TO ACCOMPANY ME FOR THAT ELECTIVE, RUITI TOO! :D )

Went to see the J2 people donate their blood, but then a lot cannot find the vein xD And! The boys were showing off a lot. Benedict got 234, Timothy got 250, Shaun got 230+, Joshua Jeya got 230+, Ruiti got 230+. Then they suddenly ask me how much I got :/

Shaun: Ehh. You got how much for PSLE arh?
Hazeline: Ermm. 212..
Shaun: *Um chio* Hmm. Quite good alr lah. LOL.

DIFFERENT ERAYEAR OKAY!? LOL. I actually typed era first :X Ohmy.

Jumped like never before today (: And I love it (:

DAY 4

‘Special’ musical, second time I watched it, second time I cried :x But then it wasn’t as serious as the first time I cry :x But then big mistake to sit in hall 8 to watch it live. Cause the queue at hall 10 was alr started, and they got to watch it, in hall 10 also :x

Got channeled to overflow room ): But the presence of God was still very strong. I don’t know how to put it. But when Rev Benny Hinn was doing the healing things alr, I can really feel the shaking. It’s like, the whole body is shaking :x I thought I’ll fall, maybe that will happen if I’m in hall 8, but then such a strong presence in hall 10 is alr a miracle (:

And I was amazed by the fall of the choir, as in I’ve seen people touched, like one by one, at the most like two. But then today’s is the whole choir fall, and it’s like at least 40 strongs. You wouldn’t believe it unless you see it for yourself, if not experience it for yourself (:

But then I find him scary, like, forsaking the family for the call of God, is that what God really want us to do? :/ Sounds pretty illogical to me, cause it doesn’t tally with the 10 commandments :x (But thank God that Pastor Kong cleared it on Day 5 :D)

Went home, and I missed the last train :/ Bused home again :/

DAY 5

I started snoozing since 5.50am, extreme madness, when I slept at 2 the previous night == Then it ends up that I’m meeting no one in the morning. So irritating :/ It’s alright if you’re not going, but then I find those who really say it last minute very annoying. Imagine I even ask people to help book seats and thinking of ways to get you in alr :/

Anyway, morning service with Rev. Dr Phil Pringle was great (: I think he is super artistic, he painted live leh. And he didn’t paint using a paintbrush? Looks like a spoon to me though, and I know what it isn’t a spoon :x

Went to hall 4 to wait for Verena NANA the high class to study (: You know, high class people melt when there is no air-con (: And, high class people use laptop to study one :P

Anyway, Yuqi and Nelson was there too (: Don’t know how they ended up there, but they were there (: Nana continued with her AIDS report, I mean her research on AIDS while I was playing quadrapop :P

I swear with my life that I didn’t emo, and I don’t like to say that I emo, I mean, so fake! IMAGINE, I’m sad, then I go around telling people, “I’m sad”. I mean, if I can do that, it shows that being sad is nothing, cause I still can go around boasting about how sad I am. OH WELL. Another imagination :x

I still don’t know what I’m trying to put across, but, TSK! I wasn’t sad (:

Had Jessemine’s parents “smuggled” me in (: A little bit of cheating, but then at least I got my seats (: Beauty pageat and Manhunt was woohoo. Woohoo is more for manhunt (: A pity that Verena NANA was sick and didn’t stayed to watch it ):  

Liu Geng Hong and JJ Lin was there to perform! (:  

So funny! They are pretty good friends in real life, and yet rivals inside xD

At first I didn’t know, but then Liu Geng Hong acted in Kung Fu Dunk, and JJ Lin is alr a christian when he was 15 (: And we might not know, but the songs that he composed, he actually added in some thing related to God, but not that obvious (:

Rev Dr A.R Bernard’s session (: Very cool, unlike the previous session very related to politics (: Really very funny, cause talked about culture, and culture is make up of language also, then he tried to relate it to Singapore. Our language culture: LAH (: Then he talked about language in New York too (: O.D (: I’m O.D clever, you don’t have to know what it means, just say yes (: LOL!

GRAND FINALE WAS GREAT! (: The thousands of balloons fell, and the pieces of papers flew as if they had wings (: Sang the song also, That’s what friends are for, for good times and bad time… Hugged many people (: LOOKING FORWARD TO 2010! I’ll be taking my Os that year then. NEVERMIND (:

AND DID I MENTION THAT I WAS SO CLOSE TO LIU GENG HONG? We were like, 1 seat away, I told Katherine Naval, and she was like, “Actually right, it’s not you only, we were all very close to him” LOL.

And the boys took photo using my phone like there’s no tomorrow. Not so many actually, 3 only (: And they changed Jesse’s photo to Jicai’s photo for my wallpaper == BIG DIFFERENCE. Joking (:

p/s: Going out with Angeline and Eunice tomorrow (: Looking forward to it! (:

p/p/s: My brother actually wanted to go to Manjusri :/ GOOD LUCK BROTHER! :/ (But I put Bendemeer as his first choice :D)

p/p/p/s: I LOVE MY ERZI TO THE MAX MAN! I didn’t know and can’t see he love Asia Conference so much, he actually bluffed his way to go :P Not to encourage bluffing, but..! (:

Ridiculous.

Maybe it’s time to really forgive and forget, what I learnt in church, I always promised to apply them in life. And it just so happened that it was on the first page of notebook, unforgiveness keeps the pain alive, produces bitterness and give satan an open door.

Incredible how I adviced people in forgeting and not forgiving, just forget, never forgive. So what if one is able to forget? Forgetting is only on the mind, but then forgiving is forgetting in the heart. That’s what I think.

I guess it’s my fault that I didn’t forgive, but I swear that I did forgave alr, but then it came back to me so strongly. But at least I’m trying again now. It’s hard to get over a past hurt. Even physical wound takes time to heal, let alone emotional injury inflicted like machine gun; one after another.

I guess it’s still not too late, the fact that God spoke to me through my notebook must have meant something (:

It’s like this everytime, whenever I’m doing fine, something is always on its way to bring me down. Somethings just have to crop up and keep me worrying. Maybe that wasn’t the main purpose, but it never fails to keep me worrying. I’ve been praying for nights, hopefully after all these a miracle will happen for real.

Oh, I just realised that Nickelback’s album have just been out. Random, cause I was wikipedia the many many artistes to sort out my music folder (: AND I LOVE♥ YOUTUBE DOWNLOADER (: It’s amazing, so many songs unavailable elsewhere is so easily available there (: Download video, and convert them! So many of Jesse’s song there :P LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT (:

p/s: I completed Sally Spa alr. And it seems that other games make my comp slow like tortoise :x

p/p/s: ASIA CONFERENCE! EXCITEMENT BABY! (:

p/p/p/s: Self-destruct. Crazy idea of screwing up my life, to mess it up :x

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

I just finished my shopping trip with Yanqin just now.

SUPER DUPER SHIOK (:

Although it was long and it’s walking rounds and rounds, but I still love it (:

And Asia Conference is coming in 2 days time, and Dean, Tingquan and Yanqin is going (: AND I WANT MY ELECTIVES BADLY! ): I WANT I WANT I WANT. I WANT MY TAG TOO ((:

Went sushi-ing with many people from cellgroup too (: Although I didn’t eat (:

p/s: Typical aunty now. The cheaper the better! (: LOL.

GIRLIE SLEEPOVER (:

I’M BACK FROM THE GIRLIE SLEEPOVER AT JACQUE’S HOUSE! (: I had super duper lots of fun there with those friends (: And I swear it is, no wonder Vera told me how friends from school and friends from church is different (:

It was really fun, and it’s what girls really should do. Play games, whoever loses jump into the pool, find coins in the pool, chicken war in the pool (one on top of the other’s shoulder, and wrestle other into the pool :P), take photos using webcam, manicure and playing in the dark. I love it this way. Woohoo! There will be another sleepover after Leila’s exam :D

I love the cookies that we baked while waiting, the shapes are super cute, and it tastes like the best cookie on earth, although it is just cookie mixture (:

AND JESSEMINE HELPED ME TO DO MANICURE (: I super duper ultra many truckload loves it (:

Btw the sparkling things on the nails are the jewel-liked crystals (: So super cute, and it’s french manicure (: And I love Vevien’s one, it’s like, glitter glittery! Bling bling, I LIKE! (: But I love mine still! ♥

Went to prayer meeting before cell group (: It was nice, I wanted to pray individually at first, cause I always pray quite short, and I don’t wanna embarrass myself :x But prayed together with Jacqueline in the end (:

Cellgroup was great, and I love it (: I mean, I love going to church and cell group now (: I wanted to put cell group only, cause I have to wake up early to go church, but dropped the idea cause I suddenly remember about what Cheryl they all said at the MRT station about sacrificing (:

AND I FOUND MANY MANY FANS OF JESSE MCCARTNEY! Eunice, Fiona, Nicolette! All from N441 too! WOOHOO! Fiona and Eunice are really big fan of his too! They were sending photos of him from my phone to their phone, and I wanted Eunice to send me the MV (: And Nicolette’s one is maniac, she actually memerised the lyrics of Beautiful Soul, I mean the chorus (:

And I successfully psycho-ed them to watch Keith, they knew a little of the storyline somehow :P And this psycho is not bad, at least not like how someone tried to psycho everyone to hate me :D AND! I heard Benjamin’s friend find Keith touching too (:

AND IM’MA WATCHING TWILIGHT TOGETHER WITH EUNICE FIONA AND NICOLETTE SOON! (: TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT. Long-awaited, and we’re gonna watch it once it’s out, on a weekday perhaps? (: 

Went to City Hall for Bryan’s concert (: And we were not really watching, except for Bryan’s performance. And that was when Eunice, Fiona and I went crazy about Jesse and started sending the photos/MV. Coolios (:

p/s: Why is that there is so many weird people nowadays? Vevien’s stalker, then now Louisa’s blog’s weird guy :/

p/p/s: YANQIN IS GOING FOR CHURCH TOMORROW! AND 4 DAYS FOR ASIA CONFERENCE! (: WOOHOOOS! (:

Just another day (:

I feel like working there, the USA, California, Los Angeles branch. Cause it’s like social worker, and it’s the hometown of Jesse McCartney (: But then that doesn’t mean that he’s going to be home all day ): BUT OH WELL. Maybe by then I wouldn’t be a crazy fan of Jesse alr. *Shrugs*

I woke up super early today.. Like, 10AM! Might not seem that early, but then it’s alr very early for me, I’ve been waking up at 12pm these few days. It’s so funny, I haven’t been really eating in the afternoon these few days.

Then I wanted to fast today, then it was so irritating I tell you. Suddenly I was hungry and then there’s food everywhere. Candy container on my table, pringles on my table, many many instant noodles, yoghurt, and there’s a lot more in the refrigerator.

BUT I MANAGED TO TAHAN THAT 10 HOURS (: A bit cheating also lah, cause I slept at 6pm, then 8pm woke up just nice break fast :x

Watched Keith for the third time, and I’m not sick of it, I plan to watch it again (: Cause I just can’t get enough of Jesse :D LOL! Quick go watch! IT’S NICE! (: ONG ZHEN AND BENJAMIN CAN SECOND AND THIRD THAT FOR ME (: HAHA.

It’s not just another romance movie that you can predict the next scene (: It’s more than that, and “Love is a force you can’t control” is expressed like super powerful. That female lead had such a perfect life, her life all planned. But then for love her life became shit, she can’t get her $10 000 scholarship, can’t get into the best university, lost all her tennis matches. It’s totally screwed up.

And worse of all, she didn’t get Keith in the end, he died of cancer ): But she didn’t carry on with her dreams, she went to carry on with Keith’s dream (: Super sweet (: MANY MANY THUMBS UP FOR IT (:

ANYWAY. The sleepover is tomorrow, and Vera is going for me! (: LOL. It’s going to be fun, I think. But before that I have to go Aljunied to print songsheet at that printing shop. Not stupid, but then I don’t think there’s any other printing shop near my house alr. At most go there and buy nail polish at the same time (:

I wanna go shopping for clothes and more. I’ve been wearing elmo tee like almost everyday. I HAVE to get something alr :/

QUIZ.

I ♥ KEITHHHHH! (:

And I mean, Keith, that movie that Jesse Mccartney got a part in, and he’s the main lead like, WOOHOO! (:

And I think that it’s nice, not only because Jesse is in it. It’s like, pretty romantic I guess. They are super sweet. And Jesse behaves unusually cuter than he is in any other video (:  I cried, not really because that it is touching, but I think that there’s some part that I thought was really present in my life.

And go watch it lah, but before that go and look at what wikipedia says about the storyline. I get it only after I look at wikipedia twice :P As in, you know, there is accent, and it just make it so hard to understand. LOL.

And did you heard what he said in the trailer? “So what are you going to do after graduation?” “Disguise as a woman” It’s duper cool. The storyline is pretty like any other Romance movie, either character gets cancer, then MIA/say hurtful words so that the other party would have his/her feelings fade so he/she wouldn’t be sad. BUT FOR THIS NATALIE’S FEELING DIDN’T FADE (:

Oh well, I swear with life of my next pet that Jesse is super cute inside, he does all the weird things, picnic in other people’s office, play bowling by putting bowling ball on the doorstep of every house, he wear the safety goggles also, for nothing. And there’s more, it’s nice (:

(Btw don’t even say that I’m evil cause I’m swearing upon the life of my next pet, cause I don’t intend to get one :D)

I’m going to watch it again now :P And I realised that I do understand their accent, just that I wasn’t really paying attention yesterday :x HAHA. Still as nice, nicer in fact :P

Oh. And I serve an awesome God (:

I just start my first quiet time today (: And it was longer than the recomended 15 minutes. It was doubled (: Maybe it’s always like this the first time, but I felt nothing. CONTINUE HAZELINE (:

p/s: You want to forgive someone you hate, but the other party wouldn’t compromise.  I wouldn’t care about all this, cause I know my God will have a way out for me :P

p/p/s: I plan to watch Keith again later at midnight (:

ARISE AND BUILD (:

I’m suppose to have bible study this morning, but went for prayer meeting instead. There was this prayer session where you pray in groups of 2-3. Grouped with Cheryl and Leila, then in the end they were such powerful people that they prayed for so long, so I didn’t pray cause pastor wanted to continue (:

Had the breakfast that the church provided. Although not the best breakfast on earth, but then it was so cool! It’s like one person get one box, and inside there’s many food. COOLIOS (:

VERA SPOILED MY PICTURE BY PUTTING GREEN TEA BEHIND! ): LOL! Joking lah, I took it so ugly and I tried to blame Vera for it. LOL.

AND! When we were talking towards the booth to take the breakfast, I was random and sang “I Believe I Can Fly”. Then this guy in front turned back and look at me, and said “Oh, so you wanna fly to the front of the crowd huh? Haha.” I SWEAR IT WAS SO PAISEH! :x

Liwen wanted me to accompany her to chop seats near the terrace, then she told me the directions I keep on anyhow walk, then ended up I walk in front of her alr I still don’t know. LOL!

And I changed the amount that I’m going to pledge for Arise and Build, like, it’s almost double the amount. I WILL FULFILL IT. I WILL FULFILL IT. I WILL FULFILL IT. And I plan to fast 7 days a month, then I can save money also :P WOOHOO! Great plans ahead (:

And I suppose I never learn my lesson, I went to MRT station and continued. I went “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the skies” and I struggled to touch the ceiling of the train. Then a lot of people turned and looked :x

Went to Changi and ate a lot :P Like, Mee Goreng, Chachos, Curry bread and I don’t know. I feel so fat ): Someone tell me how to lose weight :x

Now I can confirm go for Asia Conference, so many of the electives that I signed up for are opened also. Like, PRAISE THE LORD! (: And it happen that those electives I signed up for are going to be so useful. All are on community service, SO SUITS ME (: Haha!

p/s: I’m taking a big step of faith now (: